Hey, it's Louis.

We're talking about fear today. That sometimes not so obvious sneaky little shit that hides underneath stuff.

👀 IN TODAY'S STASH

🌳 THE SHADE

If thinking about retirement makes your stomach knot up, grab some shade for a minute.

That knot is your nervous system telling you it understands the stakes.

Most of us got real good at pretending we weren't scared. Joking about it. Saying "I'll figure it out some other time."

Today we're going to sit with the fear instead of kicking it down the road. Because the only way through it is to deal with it.

🌰 THE NUT

Fear.

We've all felt it. Hell, at one time or another it may have even paralyzed us.

I used to think fear sucked ass. That only weak people felt it.

But now that I'm older and slightly wiser…some have even claim I've grown a brain…I realize fear is necessary.

Fear gives you an edge. Keeps you sharp. Gets you thinking about what could go wrong before it does.

The question is, how do we keep from spiraling? How do we use it constructively? How do we keep from becoming that Looney Tunes cartoon cat shaking in the corner?

Because make no mistake, my brother, fear left unchecked can lead to some dark places. When you're backed into that corner and every fiber in your being is screaming at you to bolt, but you have no idea which direction... that's when things go sideways.

I know that corner well.

Back in the early 2000s I wasn't taking care of myself. I ate like shit, drank too much and slept too little.

One day, pretty much like any other, I was running errands and about halfway home started feeling funny. I was singing along to some Van Halen and couldn't quite catch my breath.

The more I focused on my breathing, the more erratic it got.

I started thinking about a buddy of mine in the service who died of a heart attack when he was in his early 30s. Not much older than I was and I'm pretty sure he had been living better than I had.

Guesses as to what I started thinking.

And once those thoughts hit my brain, that little heart of mine just began to beat and beat and beat.

I swear my heart was acting like a hummingbird that snorted half of Colombia.

Sweating, shaking, all I could think was, "Fuck, I'm going to die here alone in this piece of shit truck."

I did what any sane person would do. I pulled over and called 911.

Spent the next day in the hospital under observation. Turns out with all the blood tests, CT scans and stress tests, their best guess was that I was having panic attacks.

Good. Sort of. Better than the alternative. The Service Buddy alternative.

I spent many years surviving panic attacks.

A situation would cause some stress, my heart would beat faster, my breathing would get shallow. All completely normal responses. My brain, however, would turn into Hammy the Squirrel and go completely ape shit. Until BAM! Panic attack.

I hated them. I hated them. I hated them.

I hated the way the fear made me feel... weak... scared... powerless.

Sometimes they hit like a slap on the face; crisp, fast, and over. Other times, like Mike Tyson taking his time working the speed bag.

Took me the better part of twelve years to figure out that taking care of myself could help with my anxiety. Idiot.

So I cleaned it up. Sleep, diet, exercise. Its been working. Slowly at first, but its working.

What does any of this have to do with retirement?

When I boiled all my fears down to their very basics, I found the same thing hiding at the center of every single one: fear of the unknown.

Look deep enough into any fear and you'll find that little bastard sitting right there.

Retirement planning is just fear of the unknown wearing a spreadsheet.

The future and its unknowns are coming no matter what. You walk through those unknowns the same way you would anything else.

Step by step, it’s tool #2.

When you take that first step, that piece of the unknown is gone. Then you take the next one.

As I'm writing this, I've just been laid off. Again.

Yeah, I've got that fear of the unknown. Fear of the future.

So what do I do? I take that first step. Polish up the resume. Apply on job sites. Show up to interviews well dressed and prepared.

I may not be able to control the future, but I can damn sure control this part.

And so can you, my brother. You can control this part.

So now you scrounge. Now you scratch. Now you take that first step.

Take that FNG Attitude and walk through the fear.

🐿️ THE STEP

Grab a notebook. New page if you've already got one going.

Write down what actually scares you about retirement. And I don't mean "running out of money." That's too clean and too vague. Vague fears are like feeding Gizmo after midnight.

I mean specific. Specific like:

The more specific, the better.

Get the fear out of your head, where it's been multiplying in the dark, and onto paper where it starts losing its power.

Here's what happens when you do that:

Half the time, the fear shrinks the second you shine a light on it. The other half, you realize it's a real thing you can plan around. Either way, you’re coming up aces.

You don't conquer the unknown all at once. You just take a piece of it and make it known. Then another piece. Then another.

That's only the way through.

Until the next Stash, protect your nuts brother.

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