Hey, it's Louis.
I have a friend who has a pattern I want to talk about. It’s a pattern that most of us have.
New iPhone, every year, whether the old one's broken or not. A car payment that keeps rolling over into a new loan.
This person is not setting out to be reckless with money.
More likely, they’re chasing something, and the something isn't really the new phone or car.
Most of us do this to some extent. It took me a long time to figure out what I was chasing.
Once I did that, I was able to control my spending better.
👀 IN TODAY'S STASH
Why "I don't need it" never stops anybody from buying it
What you're actually paying for when you upgrade something that already works
One question that catches the purchase before it catches you
🌳 THE SHADE
If you read that opener and felt a little called out, don’t feel alone. I’m shining the same light on myself.
Grab some shade for a minute brother cause this ain't about being weak or dumb with money.
It's about a rush that feels good for about twenty minutes, and a brain that will go absolutely bat-shit bonkers again once it fades. That's not a character flaw, it’s the way we are wired.
🌰 THE NUT
The other day I was texting with my wife and told her my phone was doing some screwy stuff.
The response I got back was, "Looks like it's time for new phones."
Now, she was only kidding but my brain went into overdrive.
Almost as bad as the time I woke up in the fuzzy handcuff closet at Mistress Maggie’s House of Badger Slapping, stripped-down buck nakid in the bare-ass nude.
At least I didn’t wake up covered in gummy bears that time.
But I digress.
I started researching.
I was looking at what the new phones had to offer, processor speeds, AI, better batteries, and hard drive space.
I was dreaming about that new phone and all the cool shit I could do with it.
I don’t do a lot of cool shit with the one I’ve got now. I text friends and family, take a picture occasionally, check my email and avoid the calls about my car warranty that have started back up again.
Why did I want the new phone?
My current phone is great. It’s not broken and it does everything I need it to. So why the hell would I even consider a new phone?
The funny thing? I always thought the only thing the iPhone ever did was upgrade their cameras. So, not much difference between my iPhone 13 and the latest and greatest that's out there.
And since I'm not a photographer why would I bother?
But no, there I was, trawling the internet, looking for reasons to buy the new phone.
I was searching for that one thing that would let me say "That's why I need this phone." I was looking for a justification… something to validate my wanting the phone when I had no solid reason to begin with.
Was it compulsion? Was I searching for a feeling of prestige, of having the new thing?
All the cool kids have new shit. Was I trying to fit in and be one of the cool kids? Was I craving that new phone smell? Yes… all of the above.
Let's talk about what's actually happening when you buy the thing you’re craving.
For a time, you feel a little more put together, a little more pep in your step and a little closer to the life you pictured for yourself. You get a little bit of "look at me now" you didn't know you needed until the ad told you that you did.
Car, truck, TV, phone, whatever it is, that feeling is real, brother.
Unfortunately that new thing smell is temporary, and it costs a lot more than the sticker price to keep chasing it every time it wears off.
And it wears off… fast.
No accident there brother.
Marketers don't sell you a phone. They sell you the version of yourself who owns the phone, the one who's current, who's got it together, who isn't falling behind.
They sell you FOMO.
They know exactly which itch they're scratching, and they've got a new commercial ready the second your last purchase stops feeling shiny.
Nobody in advertising is losing sleep wondering if you actually need the thing. They're paid to make you feel like your life would be so much better with it.
It’s not all about willpower.
Telling somebody "just don't buy it" is like telling my cat not to throw up on my pillow.
The urge is real; the rush is real.
What we have to do is identify what we're actually chasing, whether it's relief, status, distraction, a small escape from a hard day, otherwise we’re going to keep losing this fight even though you know better.
My friend isn't buying cars or phones. She's buying twenty minutes of feeling like her life is moving somewhere. That's a hell of a lot harder to walk away from than a car payment, and it's also the actual thing that needs addressing.
None of this means never buy anything nice again. It means the next time you feel that itch, you get curious about it instead of just scratching it. Ask the question “Why do I feel the need to buy this thing?”
🐿️ THE STEP
Next time you feel the pull to buy something you don't need, don't fight it yet. Just ask yourself one question before you check out. "What am I actually trying to feel right now?"
Relief after a long week? Like you're keeping up? Like your life's finally going somewhere? Whatever it is, name it.
You don't have to talk yourself out of the purchase. Just get honest about what you're actually shopping for, because it usually isn't the thing in the cart.
Write down what you find, even just a word or two. We're going to come back to this next issue when we get into the debt itself.
I'd like to hear from you too.
Hit reply and tell me about a purchase you were (or are) tempted by, especially one you didn't need, and what was really driving it. I’ll be looking for your replies on my old, perfectly good iPhone 13.
Until the next Stash, protect your nuts, brother.
